Rooftop Report

Rooftop Wrap-Up

Okay, you, like me, have at least some things to do during the day, and probably are not able to sit around looking at long winded links until you are blue in the face (of course unless Wonkette is reading this). So, as promised I am going to try to keep the "Morning Stew" brief and informative, a "Quick Hits" of what is going on during the day. The converse of that is going to be the "Rooftop Wrap-Up." I mean, how clever can I be? It is just amazing. Focus Billy, focus... Okay, the wrap-up will probably be long-winded and contain a plethora of links so that from the hours of 6pm - 6am, if the mood strikes, you will have something to keep you busy while ignoring friends, spouses, children, or sleep. That being said, welcome tothe first daily Rooftop Wrap-Up.

Cleaning up the days posts:

Thanks to the people who responded to my request for crass and mildly amusing descriptions of the site that shall remain nameless. In the interest of time, because I would like to take the sharp tongued editor of said site up on her offer quickly, I have thrown up a quick poll on the bottom left side of the webpage. If you don't want to make a comment that is fine, but at least vote. Tomorrow around 4:00 I will send the result to Ms. Cox and see if it tickles her funny bone. Wow, bad phrase. On the other hand, if you have some sort of divine inspiration and have a quote that just can't be missed, for God's sake post it. (Please tell me somebody got the pun in that last line.) One thing about the poll, when you vote you will automatically get to see the results but, unfortunately, a pop-up ad will come with. Sorry about that... I have no problems throwing ads on the site, but I will usually try my damndest not to burden you with pop-ups.

John Kerry. I don't even know what to say about this. Initially the internet world was convinced it was a left-wing conspiracy, then it was just a Clinton conspiracy, and now people are hypothesizing it is a right-wing conspiracy - - - all while no facts have actually been reported and no major news agency has picked it up nationally. Wait and see is the way to go for now; I guess. Let's all just hope they find the dress quickly this time. Oh, and that the Senator from Mass. doesn't smoke cigars.

Current Hottest Female Athlete Rankings:

(1) Heather Mitts 30.3% (2) Jennie Finch 27.2% (3) Jamie Sale 17.2% (4) Anna 16.2% (5) Joe Lieberman like numbers - - should pull out of the race.

Different Stuff:

Question: Does anybody want this former Yankee third baseman quarterbacking their team? Subquestion: Would you want your team trading a first round pick for him?

I can't wait for this Santo movie. If anybody is in the Chicagoland area and wants to catch it with me let me know. Obviously, that last sentence was only for any girls reading. F*#%, I can't believe I just started talking about Santo. Now I am pissed. How in the hell do the Cubs have the two most deserving players, this side of a reinstated Pete Rose, that are still waiting for a phone call from the Hall? What is this an East and West coast bias? Just lock out the poor Midwest?

Christian is answering fan mail over at The Cub Reporter. Go check it out... and send me some fan mail so I can be like Christian in the future. Just the answering mail part of course, I am not going to get any scoops or do a good job analyzing stats. Don't get your hopes up.

On that note: Tomorrow, or the next day maybe, I am going to break down the Established Win Shares for the National League Central. The Baseball Crank has already done the same for the AL West and AL East, but I just can't wait. Let me know if there is anything else you want to see. I didn't major in statistics at U of I so don't expect any standard deviations or regressions, but I do have the internet and wouldn't mind doing some research at somebody's request.

Also check this, this, and this out. You will be a better person for it. Well, actually, the first one will just make Will Carroll richer, and the second one will just make you either say, "Yea, biatch" or "Damn liberals"... but, the third one, that will make you a better person.

One of those I have posted before, but I couldn't resist. It just cracks me. I seriously just turn into a three year old when I watch it... giggling and clapping my hands; it's embarrassing.

Questions, Comments, Concerns???? Email me or leave a not on the site.

Sex, sex, sex... and steroids

Well, it looks like this John Kerry sex scandal might have some staying power. Great! (he says sarcastically) If this actually continues, I pray that Kerry isn't the nominee because, I really don't want to hear about this for another 8 months.

Funny quote from the Washington Post [via Obernews]:

"I don't think I could have coped so well" with a mate's philandering as Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.) has. "I used to say to my husband, my late husband, 'If you ever get something I'll maim you. Not kill you, just maim you.' And we'd laugh, laugh, laugh." Heinz adds that she has never had any reason to suspect either of her husbands. "Not for one day, because what I expect of them, they have a right to expect of me. Maybe I'm into 18-year-olds."

You can read the full article here.

Yowsers!

On a lighter note, the Hottest Female Competition at ESPN has been whittled down to the four finalists + Jennie Finch (apparently the winner from last year). Anyway, here you go [Hottest Female Athlete]

Okay, is it just me, or is talking about steroids the new black? I mean, I don't care about this until they nail an actual athlete. Oooh, Bonds trainer is in trouble, quick alert the foreign embassy. Can't they use this space to talk about the Cubs getting more night games? I am sure the Uncouth Sloth will agree.

I know I promised three sexes, but I just don't have the time right now. Maybe later baby.