Rooftop Report

Goldfish go on diet, are Americans next?

No more TFA!! No more TFA!!

The story I will care about least today - - Campbell makes an announcement.

Rooftop Wrap-Up - - Weekend Edition

Since I won't be posting on the weekend I will do you the distinct favor of breaking out your weekend of reading. Now some of you may be tempted to skip ahead and read everything in one sitting, I would recommend you not do that. I mean, when you do that at dinner you always end up with a sick stomach... don't you?

For anytime:

If you are a Cubs fan and want to see the advantges to having Walker and Grudz platoon, check this article by Rob Neyer out; it is pretty interesting .

Well, it looks like Bush finally released all his military records. Or, I mean, maybe... This story is pretty convoluted and is amazingly "he said..she said." That being said, the banter between White House reporters and McClellan is becoming downright hilarious. Read further down the article to get to the even funnier stuff.

Jessica Simpson is going to be staring in a new sitcom on ABC. How's this for a stretch? She is playing a fictional character named Jessica Sampson.

Bill Mahr has an interesting post up on his blogger about the readiness of our troops in Iraq. Sometimes I wonder if all this talk of being under armed is really true. Not because I don't believe Bill Mahr, or ABC, but because it is one of those things that, as Americans, you just don't think is possible. It is very hard for me to comprehend that our Army, THE ARMY, doesn't have enough bullet proof vests and goggles to go around. If it is true...man, I'll dig into the national debt some more to get these guys some gear. Eh, what am I talking about, let's just cut taxes again.

Armor from home [ABC News]

Saturday:

Mel Gibson tries for the worst Valentine's Day Gift ever - - eternal suffering? This is just not good business... Even if you did play Martin Riggs.

Mel Gibson interview [MSNBC]

A new epidemic is taking over the nation, and it has nothing to do with birds, cows, or Asia. Try to take care of this before going to bed on this sacredest of Hallmark Holidays.

I've always been told not to let them bite [Yahoo]

For Becky (not that she reads this... too much "sportsy" and "politicy" stuff):

"Out of the tree of life, I just picked me a plum
You came along and everything started to hum
Still it's a real good bet, the best is yet to come

The best is yet to come, and won't that be fine
You think you've seen the sun, but you ain't seen it shine"

Sunday:

Check out the Wisconsin Democratic Debate on MSNBC. Then check out the reaction.

Edwards schedule shows the debate [JohnEdwards2004]
Aftermath of the debate [NYtimes]

Relax and watch chaos ensue. Oh, god Vanilla, put it away.

Nudist camp goes Surreal [WB/Yahoo]

If that isn't your flavor (get it, Vanilla...oh, shut up) check out the best movie EVER.

"Truth, you want the truth?" [TBS/Yahoo]

Have a good weekend all.

Rooftop Wrap-Up

Okay, you, like me, have at least some things to do during the day, and probably are not able to sit around looking at long winded links until you are blue in the face (of course unless Wonkette is reading this). So, as promised I am going to try to keep the "Morning Stew" brief and informative, a "Quick Hits" of what is going on during the day. The converse of that is going to be the "Rooftop Wrap-Up." I mean, how clever can I be? It is just amazing. Focus Billy, focus... Okay, the wrap-up will probably be long-winded and contain a plethora of links so that from the hours of 6pm - 6am, if the mood strikes, you will have something to keep you busy while ignoring friends, spouses, children, or sleep. That being said, welcome tothe first daily Rooftop Wrap-Up.

Cleaning up the days posts:

Thanks to the people who responded to my request for crass and mildly amusing descriptions of the site that shall remain nameless. In the interest of time, because I would like to take the sharp tongued editor of said site up on her offer quickly, I have thrown up a quick poll on the bottom left side of the webpage. If you don't want to make a comment that is fine, but at least vote. Tomorrow around 4:00 I will send the result to Ms. Cox and see if it tickles her funny bone. Wow, bad phrase. On the other hand, if you have some sort of divine inspiration and have a quote that just can't be missed, for God's sake post it. (Please tell me somebody got the pun in that last line.) One thing about the poll, when you vote you will automatically get to see the results but, unfortunately, a pop-up ad will come with. Sorry about that... I have no problems throwing ads on the site, but I will usually try my damndest not to burden you with pop-ups.

John Kerry. I don't even know what to say about this. Initially the internet world was convinced it was a left-wing conspiracy, then it was just a Clinton conspiracy, and now people are hypothesizing it is a right-wing conspiracy - - - all while no facts have actually been reported and no major news agency has picked it up nationally. Wait and see is the way to go for now; I guess. Let's all just hope they find the dress quickly this time. Oh, and that the Senator from Mass. doesn't smoke cigars.

Current Hottest Female Athlete Rankings:

(1) Heather Mitts 30.3% (2) Jennie Finch 27.2% (3) Jamie Sale 17.2% (4) Anna 16.2% (5) Joe Lieberman like numbers - - should pull out of the race.

Different Stuff:

Question: Does anybody want this former Yankee third baseman quarterbacking their team? Subquestion: Would you want your team trading a first round pick for him?

I can't wait for this Santo movie. If anybody is in the Chicagoland area and wants to catch it with me let me know. Obviously, that last sentence was only for any girls reading. F*#%, I can't believe I just started talking about Santo. Now I am pissed. How in the hell do the Cubs have the two most deserving players, this side of a reinstated Pete Rose, that are still waiting for a phone call from the Hall? What is this an East and West coast bias? Just lock out the poor Midwest?

Christian is answering fan mail over at The Cub Reporter. Go check it out... and send me some fan mail so I can be like Christian in the future. Just the answering mail part of course, I am not going to get any scoops or do a good job analyzing stats. Don't get your hopes up.

On that note: Tomorrow, or the next day maybe, I am going to break down the Established Win Shares for the National League Central. The Baseball Crank has already done the same for the AL West and AL East, but I just can't wait. Let me know if there is anything else you want to see. I didn't major in statistics at U of I so don't expect any standard deviations or regressions, but I do have the internet and wouldn't mind doing some research at somebody's request.

Also check this, this, and this out. You will be a better person for it. Well, actually, the first one will just make Will Carroll richer, and the second one will just make you either say, "Yea, biatch" or "Damn liberals"... but, the third one, that will make you a better person.

One of those I have posted before, but I couldn't resist. It just cracks me. I seriously just turn into a three year old when I watch it... giggling and clapping my hands; it's embarrassing.

Questions, Comments, Concerns???? Email me or leave a not on the site.

Cubbies, Hooters, and Africa

Well, boredom has overcome me again. I just scanned the internet for a good 20 minutes and really don't remember anything I came across. Luckily, I have this neat "History" button on my web browser - - - something, that if I had a wife, would come back to haunt me I am sure... guys, you know what I mean.

Anywho...

Here is an interesting article by Doug Glanville on ESPN.com....why it is there, I don't know, but it is written well enough that Dave Pinto suggests Glanville should start his own blogger. I tend to agree with him because, come on, when you swing like a girl and look freakishly close to a skeleton you should do something that requires you to sit behind a desk, so I don't have to see you. Seriously, Glanville came through in the clutch a couple times this year (that triple in the playoffs...can't even began to describe the feeling), but he seriously swings like a six year old; a bad six year old. Painful to watch.

For all those interested in the "Hooter" portion of this post, here you go:

Wonkette
Swamp City
Romenesko

They all stem from this article in today's "The Crimson." Apparently Harvard has ok'd a porn magazine named the HBomb which will feature undergraduates in various degrees of undress. Wierd thing for an Ivy League school to do, but, hey, rich young kids want to get naked I guess. I am down with it as long as they leave the "Crimson" out.

Okay, now for the real reason I wrote this post, which for the first time I can say is Gleeman length®.

I was perusing the wonderful Baseball Graphs site when I came across, for about the 1000th time their win share page. Now, I have looked at almost every players win share total (especially the Cubs), but for some reason, for the first time, it struck me to compare last years Cubs to the projected 2004 Cubs. So, here you go:

Last year 42 Cubs players were of enough statistical worth to get evaluated by Baseball Graphs win share project. Those 42 players combined for 264 Win Shares (1 Win = 3 Win Shares). The highest total going to Mark Prior and Sammy Sosa (22) the honor of the lowest total - - of 0 - - being shared by 11 players, most notably Shawn Estes and Juan Cruz. In order not to get too hypothetical I based the 2004 Cubs only on what I believe to be their projected 25 man roster (actually 24 men, but I will get into that a little bit later).

First lets start with the returning players. Of the players referenced above 17 should make the 25 man roster, 15 of which played full seasons with the Cubs last year. Oh, before I forget, if somebody has done this analysis before (I know there are like a million Cubs Bloggers out there) please let me know and I will link this post to them. Though, the likelihood of anybody seeing this in the first place is very slim, so I don't think I will have too many worries. Moving along.... Those 15 players that played full seasons with the Cubs are as follows (w/Win Share totals next to them):

Pitchers - - 8 total (95):
Mark Prior (22)
Carlos Zambrano (18)
Kerry Wood (18)
Joe Borowski (14)
Matt Clement (10)
Kyle Farnsworth (7)
Mike Remlinger (6)
Juan Cruz (0)

Position Players - - 7 total (91):
Sammy Sosa (22)
Moises Alou (20)
Mark Grudzielanek (18)
Alex Gonzalez (16)
Ramon Martinez (7)
Paul Bako (5)
Tom Goodwin (3)

That brings the total for the first 15 players to 186. I am not going to play with this number. Yeah, Grudz might not (won't) have the same type of year, but Cruz is going to get better (even if he doesn't get inked into the 5th starter role) and Wood and Prior are most definitely on the upswing of their career. So, 186 it is.

Now, there were two players on the Cubs last year that played only about half the season in a blue uniform. One was a Pirate and one was injured. Aramis Ramirez garnered a very impressive 9 win shares during his time with the Cubs. I mean, very impressive. But, since he will be on the hot corner for the duration of the year it is probably more fair to put him down for his total win shares from last year (19). That being said, this guy is going to be better in 2004. Playing in Wrigley in what is a very decent, if not good, lineup is going to shoot his numbers up. Not to mention he might not make as many errors with the gold glover manning first base. The other Cub missing last year was Corey Patterson. He actually was leading the Cubs in Win Shares, with 13, when he went down in July. Now, my personal preference would be to just say double that number, as he only played 83 games last year (almost exactly half a season), but let's be serious. He is coming back off of knee surgery and I just don't see him having a full season that is the equivalent of his first half last year. So, I am going to peg him with the number 13-26. Yes, that is right, a ridiculously wide range that you will see notated during the final score.

Okay, this is starting to go past Gleeman length®. and entering Bible length so I will make the last couple parts pretty quick.

New additions: 6 players coming to the Cubs this year are locks to be on the 25 man roster. One's numbers are going to be a little unfair based on his projected playing time, but I will go into that a little later as well.

Pitchers - - 2 total (19):
LaTroy Hawkins (13)
Kent Mercker (6)

Position Players - - 4 total (52):
Derek Lee (25)
Todd Walker (15)
Michael Barrett (7)
Todd Hollandsworth (5)

So with the returning players, the new additions, and the renumbered half season players the total comes to 289-302 (Patterson Range). Okay, before I move on I think I am going to go back on what I said about Grudz and change up his numbers; as well as Walker's. Since Walker and Grudz will very rarely be on the field together I am going average their numbers to create basically one second baseman. That brings down their total from 33 Win Shares to 17 and the grand total down from 289-302 to 272-285. Okay, two spots left.

I am going to shove Jose Macias and his 2 win shares into the 24th spot and then leave the 25th spot open for Maddux if he returns. No pressure Greg, but my little Win Share analysis won't be complete without you.

So, in summary, 42 players last year earned 264 Win Shares for 88 wins. My projected 24 man roster has, pretty easily, between 274 and 287 Win Shares for anywhere between 91 and 96 wins. If you want to throw Maddux on to the roster, his total of 11 brings our projected win total up to between 95 and 100.

If you are like some readers and just skimmed this post and looked at the last line, let your eyes read this:

CUBS IN 2004!!!

[Update:] This post can now be viewed here.

Atkins slander, pet dander, and Bush candor?

Makers of the South Beach diet leak story to news... not really, but they might as well of. Pretty disgraceful that our front page today consists of misleading headlines about a dead man, and not correct ones about our President, the war on terrorism, the Democratic Primary, or ya know, the Rasheed Wallace trade.

"Yeah, they’re — they're just wrong. There may be no evidence, but I did report; otherwise, I wouldn't have been honorably discharged." Well, it looks like Bush is going to release evidence showing us everything but the fact that he served when people are saying he didn't. Way to clear this one up Bushy.

Pet dander in title is only so I could rhyme the subject line more effectively. All those that read this post solely because of that line in the title, please accept my sincerest apology.

[Update:] This post can now be viewed here.