Rooftop Report

Getting his ass handed to him

Well Aaron Gleeman just ripped Bill Plaschke of the Los Angeles Times a new asshole. After reading Plaschke's most recent article on Paul DePodesta, I can't blame him. Actually, I think he probably took it easy on him, failing to jump on such ridiculous quotes as:

"And nothing against DePodesta, but it's hard to watch what was once baseball's most prestigious operation become an entry-level position."

"Given the abundance of certain names on the Internet these days, I guess the Dodgers should be fortunate their new general manager isn't Paris Hilton."

His article seems to miss on every journalistic point possible; save grammar. It is not funny, it is factually inaccurate, it is very misleading, and it's only interesting factor is how open it is to criticism.

Aaron, great job.

Cubs Page

It just might be over - Maddux to sign

The Atlanta Journal Consitution and ESPN.com are both reporting that the Cubs are very close to signing Greg Maddux, and that an announcement could come as soon as tomorrow:

"Greg Maddux is expected to announce he is returning to his first team and is expected to be on hand when pitchers and catchers report today to the club's spring facility in Mesa, Ariz. Though the club would make no formal announcement, the two sides were close an agreement Tuesday that would bring the four-time Cy Young winner back to the franchise he left in 1992, according to a source close to the negotiations."

Maddux would join 4 other Cubs starters that combined to garner 49 wins last year. This addition would boost the Cubs already well respected starting staff into a class of its own.

As Howard Dean would say.... we're going to New York, we're going to Houston, we're going to St. Louis, and then we're going all the way to the White House.... yay!!

Will someone sign Maddux before the All-Star break?

Another day, another certain free agent pitcher from Atlanta still not signed. A-Rod went through 3 different rounds of fortnight long trade talks, with two teams, all with a $20 million a year salary hanging over him, and even he has settled down before Maddux. I mean, we are talking about a 37 year old pitcher who had an ERA perilously close to 4.00 last year, right?

Yes, that subtle rip on G.M. is bitterness... I admit it. I have this feeling in my stomach though that because the Dodgers have just finalized the sale of their team, and subsequently hired the uber-talented Paul DePodesta, they will want to make a splash - - and soon. That splash may come in the form of signing Maddux and then trading Odalis Perez to the Dodgers for Magglio Ordonez. A violent water movement like that will hurt the Cubs for two reasons, (1) No Maddux (2) We play the Dodgers six times next year.

Either way, I am definitely at the point where I want to know what is going to happen; if not only for the fear of bitterness taking over every aspect of my life. I can't keep getting mad at everbody else for being indesicive just because Maddux won't make up his mind. Seriously, my girlfriend is tired of being snapped at for not picking a restaurant fast enough.

Update: I was just reading the Cub Reporter and realized our Maddux posts are ridiculously similar. Sorry about that, didn't mean to steal...great minds think a like I guess. Anyway, if you came here first, which I doubt, check it out.

All you could ever want on the A-Rod Deal

Now that the A-Rod deal is only pending the commisioners approval, I am ready to send you down the road of statistical analysis:

Alex Cieply over at Ball Talk does a great job breaking down the trade using VORP.

ESPN.com goes over the Yankees new projected lineup by cost per 9 innings. Suffice it to say I wouldn't mind making the same about in a year.

Alex Belth at Bronx Banter talks about the money involved in the trade as well as giving numerous links to news reports on the trade.

All while The Bambino's Curse tries to judge the reaction of Red Sox Nation.

Also, on a note that doesn't have much to do with baseball, but yet I found funny, in the ESPN.com article referenced above there is a quote from President Bush stating:

"I was just as surprised as the Yankee fans and the Boston Red Sox fans when I opened up my paper today..."

"It, obviously, is a big deal. ... A-Rod's a great player and the Yanks are going to be a heck of a team with him in the infield."

I thought the president said he didn't read the paper.

Rooftop Wrap-Up - - Weekend Edition

Since I won't be posting on the weekend I will do you the distinct favor of breaking out your weekend of reading. Now some of you may be tempted to skip ahead and read everything in one sitting, I would recommend you not do that. I mean, when you do that at dinner you always end up with a sick stomach... don't you?

For anytime:

If you are a Cubs fan and want to see the advantges to having Walker and Grudz platoon, check this article by Rob Neyer out; it is pretty interesting .

Well, it looks like Bush finally released all his military records. Or, I mean, maybe... This story is pretty convoluted and is amazingly "he said..she said." That being said, the banter between White House reporters and McClellan is becoming downright hilarious. Read further down the article to get to the even funnier stuff.

Jessica Simpson is going to be staring in a new sitcom on ABC. How's this for a stretch? She is playing a fictional character named Jessica Sampson.

Bill Mahr has an interesting post up on his blogger about the readiness of our troops in Iraq. Sometimes I wonder if all this talk of being under armed is really true. Not because I don't believe Bill Mahr, or ABC, but because it is one of those things that, as Americans, you just don't think is possible. It is very hard for me to comprehend that our Army, THE ARMY, doesn't have enough bullet proof vests and goggles to go around. If it is true...man, I'll dig into the national debt some more to get these guys some gear. Eh, what am I talking about, let's just cut taxes again.

Armor from home [ABC News]

Saturday:

Mel Gibson tries for the worst Valentine's Day Gift ever - - eternal suffering? This is just not good business... Even if you did play Martin Riggs.

Mel Gibson interview [MSNBC]

A new epidemic is taking over the nation, and it has nothing to do with birds, cows, or Asia. Try to take care of this before going to bed on this sacredest of Hallmark Holidays.

I've always been told not to let them bite [Yahoo]

For Becky (not that she reads this... too much "sportsy" and "politicy" stuff):

"Out of the tree of life, I just picked me a plum
You came along and everything started to hum
Still it's a real good bet, the best is yet to come

The best is yet to come, and won't that be fine
You think you've seen the sun, but you ain't seen it shine"

Sunday:

Check out the Wisconsin Democratic Debate on MSNBC. Then check out the reaction.

Edwards schedule shows the debate [JohnEdwards2004]
Aftermath of the debate [NYtimes]

Relax and watch chaos ensue. Oh, god Vanilla, put it away.

Nudist camp goes Surreal [WB/Yahoo]

If that isn't your flavor (get it, Vanilla...oh, shut up) check out the best movie EVER.

"Truth, you want the truth?" [TBS/Yahoo]

Have a good weekend all.

Some Maddux Info

Giants and Maddux exchange numbers. This Maddux thing is just getting out of control. I guess that is what happens when you mix the pot using no news, Scott Boras, and my favorite team as ingredients. For all I know this could be a Moby type plant by Boras to get the Cubs to up their bid.

As my father used to say whenever I asked if we could go to a baseball game that weekend, "We shall see..."

Spring Training Invitees

The Transaction Guy comes through in the clutch again with his full list of spring training invitees. If this doesn't keep you busy for a while then I don't know what will.

I love looking at these lists for the humor value alone. Some goodies:

Garth Brooks - - Kansas City. Yes, THE Garth Brooks, the 42 year old country star. Carlos Beltran better start looking over his shoulder because Garth has stored up some Unanswered Prayers. Ouch...that was a painfully bad joke.

The Devil Rays and their - - "we all used to be heavily overpaid" list:

Todd Ritchie
Fred McGriff
Mike Williams
Fernando Tatis
Devi Cruz

In 2001 this group of 5 made: $15,900,000
In 2002: $17,900,000
In 2003: $15,900,000
Total last three years: $49,700,000

For the following:

26 wins
49 losses
96 saves
4.83 ERA

121 HR
490 RBI
13 SB
.259 BA

Morning Stew

9:44 and nothing too interesting has come up on my radar screen this morning. The Kerry scandal is still brewing, the Cubs are still getting more night games, Jeremy Roenick broke his jaw again, Paris Hilton is still a slut (no link necessary - just a statement), and WMD's have still not been found in Iraq. Pretty boring if you ask me. Now, if John Kerry had broken Jeremy Roenick's jaw, at a Cubs night game, because Roenick was sleeping with Kerry's intern (a young hotel heiress) then perhaps we would have a story. Alas....

Pitchers and Catchers report in just under 5 days - - - hopefully Maddux is one of the people reporting to the Cubs. Doubt it though.

Found this power ranking to be a bit odd. The administrators of it moved the Cubs up to 5th, after ending last year at 8th, but for some reason have the Astros 2nd. And, the Reds 30th? The Angels 3rd? Uh, okay...

The more and more I look on the internet, the more and more I realize that any moron could write for a major baseball site. Finding intelligent commentary in the comment sections of Baseball Musings and The Cub Reporter is far easier than trying to find similarly good remarks anywhere else (outside of the few good ones on ESPN and around the blogger community).

Oh, and remember - - make as many friends as possible. You could die if you don't.

Rooftop Wrap-Up

Okay, you, like me, have at least some things to do during the day, and probably are not able to sit around looking at long winded links until you are blue in the face (of course unless Wonkette is reading this). So, as promised I am going to try to keep the "Morning Stew" brief and informative, a "Quick Hits" of what is going on during the day. The converse of that is going to be the "Rooftop Wrap-Up." I mean, how clever can I be? It is just amazing. Focus Billy, focus... Okay, the wrap-up will probably be long-winded and contain a plethora of links so that from the hours of 6pm - 6am, if the mood strikes, you will have something to keep you busy while ignoring friends, spouses, children, or sleep. That being said, welcome tothe first daily Rooftop Wrap-Up.

Cleaning up the days posts:

Thanks to the people who responded to my request for crass and mildly amusing descriptions of the site that shall remain nameless. In the interest of time, because I would like to take the sharp tongued editor of said site up on her offer quickly, I have thrown up a quick poll on the bottom left side of the webpage. If you don't want to make a comment that is fine, but at least vote. Tomorrow around 4:00 I will send the result to Ms. Cox and see if it tickles her funny bone. Wow, bad phrase. On the other hand, if you have some sort of divine inspiration and have a quote that just can't be missed, for God's sake post it. (Please tell me somebody got the pun in that last line.) One thing about the poll, when you vote you will automatically get to see the results but, unfortunately, a pop-up ad will come with. Sorry about that... I have no problems throwing ads on the site, but I will usually try my damndest not to burden you with pop-ups.

John Kerry. I don't even know what to say about this. Initially the internet world was convinced it was a left-wing conspiracy, then it was just a Clinton conspiracy, and now people are hypothesizing it is a right-wing conspiracy - - - all while no facts have actually been reported and no major news agency has picked it up nationally. Wait and see is the way to go for now; I guess. Let's all just hope they find the dress quickly this time. Oh, and that the Senator from Mass. doesn't smoke cigars.

Current Hottest Female Athlete Rankings:

(1) Heather Mitts 30.3% (2) Jennie Finch 27.2% (3) Jamie Sale 17.2% (4) Anna 16.2% (5) Joe Lieberman like numbers - - should pull out of the race.

Different Stuff:

Question: Does anybody want this former Yankee third baseman quarterbacking their team? Subquestion: Would you want your team trading a first round pick for him?

I can't wait for this Santo movie. If anybody is in the Chicagoland area and wants to catch it with me let me know. Obviously, that last sentence was only for any girls reading. F*#%, I can't believe I just started talking about Santo. Now I am pissed. How in the hell do the Cubs have the two most deserving players, this side of a reinstated Pete Rose, that are still waiting for a phone call from the Hall? What is this an East and West coast bias? Just lock out the poor Midwest?

Christian is answering fan mail over at The Cub Reporter. Go check it out... and send me some fan mail so I can be like Christian in the future. Just the answering mail part of course, I am not going to get any scoops or do a good job analyzing stats. Don't get your hopes up.

On that note: Tomorrow, or the next day maybe, I am going to break down the Established Win Shares for the National League Central. The Baseball Crank has already done the same for the AL West and AL East, but I just can't wait. Let me know if there is anything else you want to see. I didn't major in statistics at U of I so don't expect any standard deviations or regressions, but I do have the internet and wouldn't mind doing some research at somebody's request.

Also check this, this, and this out. You will be a better person for it. Well, actually, the first one will just make Will Carroll richer, and the second one will just make you either say, "Yea, biatch" or "Damn liberals"... but, the third one, that will make you a better person.

One of those I have posted before, but I couldn't resist. It just cracks me. I seriously just turn into a three year old when I watch it... giggling and clapping my hands; it's embarrassing.

Questions, Comments, Concerns???? Email me or leave a not on the site.

Morning Stew

Well, if all goes well I should be able to make a "Morning Stew" post every morning. I will try to keep them brief and informative, but I doubt either will happen.

Aww, America's whitest black man (Dave Chappelle said it, not me) finally had enough from those damn ruthless Liberals. I mean, they will do anything to disrupt a hearing. A staffer in Powell's most recent hearing even dared to shake his head in disagreement. I mean, these are the reasons we keep the firing squad around, right? [Washington Post Powell story]

[First seen, by me at least, at Wonkette]

Paris...Paris...Paris. Once again, the famous Hilton daugther is making the news for doing absolutely nothing, well, I guess in this case she is technically doing something, or someone at least.

Full tape available...anybody want to loan me $50? [New York Post article]

Okay, onto the Cubs world. Because I go to bed late and get to work at the same time, I usually miss the morning news...so here is some information for ya that I believe you might enjoy:

Ahh, a kind of uplifting interview from Walt Jocketty in regards to Maddux. I said, kind of, because if we don't get Maddux I won't be heartbroken, but if the Cardinals get him, I will be livid. [Ivy Chat]

Huh, thought this was pretty funny.. I mean, not as interesting as Paris Hilton and her "Wednesday clubbing", but funny. Scroll down a bit on the Big Red C, reading the first couple of posts obviously, and check out his Maddux - ATA connection. [The Big Red C]

Warning!Warning!Warning!

You are now entering the "R" rated links portion of this post.

Forklift has some strong words for those that believe the Astros top 4 are better than the Cubs top 4. I agree with him and will try to post a PG-13 version of the arguement later. [Forklift]

The Uncouth Sloth is not happy about all the attention the added night games are getting. That being said, here are 615 more words about it. The only thing I would take him to task about is his statement that the Sox play hundreds of night games. Now, come on, even if they made the playoffs the most they could play is 92. Jeez... [Uncouth Sloth]